|
Post by speedracer on Mar 8, 2006 5:07:15 GMT -5
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. ;D
More to come later.
|
|
|
Post by elephantfanatic on Mar 9, 2006 9:17:06 GMT -5
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the world down. They bottled Chuck Norris's urine, and sold it commercially. It's commonly known as Red Bull.
Ok, seriously, what's the deal with Chuck Norris lately. Like, 3 weeks ago, I started hearing Chuck Norris jokes EVERYWHERE!!!!!
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 9, 2006 14:42:01 GMT -5
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 10, 2006 12:46:33 GMT -5
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 12, 2006 3:02:00 GMT -5
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 14, 2006 13:19:57 GMT -5
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 18, 2006 3:11:45 GMT -5
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
|
|
Mune
New Member
"I want to be the wind, Masa!"
Posts: 15
|
Post by Mune on Mar 19, 2006 1:28:04 GMT -5
When Chuck Norris falls into a lake, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 19, 2006 4:04:39 GMT -5
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 20, 2006 5:08:34 GMT -5
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
|
|
Mune
New Member
"I want to be the wind, Masa!"
Posts: 15
|
Post by Mune on Mar 20, 2006 20:03:38 GMT -5
The quickest way to a man's heart is Chuck Norris's fist.
|
|
|
Post by speedracer on Mar 20, 2006 20:43:33 GMT -5
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry; the man ate a freaking Indian!!
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
|
|
|
Post by jogden on Apr 8, 2006 21:57:19 GMT -5
Ok, seriously, what's the deal with Chuck Norris lately. Like, 3 weeks ago, I started hearing Chuck Norris jokes EVERYWHERE!!!!! no kidding...me too there is someflash movie somewhere which is supposed to be battle of the superheros, and of course chuck norris is in it at the end...it is quite amusing, if i find it again, ill post a link.
|
|
|
Post by jogden on Apr 9, 2006 18:30:57 GMT -5
|
|
|
Post by elephantfanatic on Apr 24, 2006 8:42:02 GMT -5
actually, I read an article in the newspaper a couple days ago that said some kid started a website with Vin Diesel jokes, and it morphed into Chuck Norris jokes. It's odd. Chuck apparently loves it though.
|
|